Now he appears
by Elven-English-Major
Summary: Glorfindel meets Erestor...
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This came into my head after a 10 hour shift at my work, I'm not sure where it's going but it has DEFINITE potential. Few things, Characters may be -slightly- A/U and the timeline is TOTALLY messed up.(Messed up in the sense that events are going to happen totally out of sequence or possibly with my own sequence) but only because I think it might be more fun that way! **I don't own ANYTHING at all. That belongs to the wonderful wonderful Tolkien, definitely not me. Borrowing for a brief period of time. **So...Glorfindel and Erestor seem to need this...Why? Ask the muse that put it in my head when I lay exhausted after afore mentioned work shift...ENJOY!

There was no number, no way, no real knowledge. No one had picked up a pen and written down the date. No one had held a ceremony or a feast. I had simply walked in one day, engaged in conversation with my comrades about battle tactics and perimeter defences and there he was. I had never really considered myself any sort of elf in particular, I had never had any serious lovers-trysts in my youth. Silly engagements coming off the high of battle. Sometimes with men, sometimes with women. Nothing had ever been of particular interest to me. But on this afternoon, in the half filtered light of a window, shadowed by the fluttering curtain, I saw him. His soft pale skin decorated by his long dark hair. It was braided delicately but not for any purpose other then to keep it from his eyes. His eyes were downcast, gazing at a document being shown him by one of the junior advisors. He wore a simple black, faded robe that did no justice to his body, but roused every peak of interest in my soul. I wanted to know-not in an animalistic, sexual sort of way but in a...what was laying underneath, was he as thin and underfed as I imagined him to be? His thin, sculpted face said he would be...but I wanted to know for sure. As we walked by, I couldn't stop myself from turning my head, taking in his black shapeless shape, his long hanging hair, and the flash of his hands as he trailed a finger down the document. I noted with a smile that his fingers were stained with black ink, blue ink and a soft streak of red that disappeared underneath his billowy sleeve. Blinking my eyes I shook my head and tried to turn my attention bac kto the conversation I had been having originally...but all thought had been lost...Why...and how in the name of the Valar, had I not seen him before?


	2. There's something about him

**A/N: Tolkien's stuff NOT MINE I OWN NOTHING! (Well...I own a dog, but that's neither here nor there...) OMG. Glorfy says a bad worrrd *le gasp* so you've been warned...ENJOY!**

Well that answers that question...he was a councilor, Elrond's newest. He had arrived when I had been off and away fighting battles, defending the borders (wandering around on horseback for 6 days with nothing to do because my warriors are far too good at their jobs) doing my job.

I learned everything I thought there was to know about him in 2 hours some from one of the guards stationed IN the last homely house, and some from Elledan and Elrohir. He was old, but not as old as Galadriel, he spoke 9 languages that they knew of, but they were sure he probably knew more. He was smarter and infinitely more clever, not to mention well read, then any of Elrond's -other- councilors. He was also, according to my comrades, incredibly shy.

He rarely spoke face to face with someone, preferring to either focus on his writing, his reading, his quill, or his feet then lift his eyes to meet the eyes of others. He wore his hair only back enough so that it didn't fall in his eyes while he read, he preferred (according to Elledan) the dangling curtain to hide behind if the need assailed him for any reason.

The only person he seemed to have any comfort towards, was Elrond. Elledan and my soldier both shared the opinion as well that he was shapeless and too odd to be attractive. Elrohir simply noted that there was something about him, an air or a feeling that didn't seem to quite mesh with everything else.

I frankly, don't give a shit what they say. I still can't get him out of my mind. Couldn't all the rest of that day, and I admit freely that I stared at him every available moment. My eyes found him as I came back from my bath, he was still in the hall but had a small group of scholars around him, as he explained something in the text.

He grew more and more uncomfortable though as they gathered around him, and I noticed he had the strangest way of shifting his physical body away from them without moving his feet. Creating a distance between himself and the others that they didn't seem to perceive.

Though I couldn't understand from my position exactly what he was saying I couldn't help but watch his lips as they moved. Small and perfectly shaped they held none of the plump roseate quality that would normally be deemed sexually provocative, they weren't pouty and sultry, they were in fact, small and thin-but they fit his face perfectly. He seemed to almost curl them back as he spoke, as if he was using any and all means to pull himself further from the vision of the people he was talking to, bringing their attention to the document he held, and not he himself.

His nose was sharp and thin, as were his cheekbones and chin-all small and sharp and chin. But his eyes, Elebreth! His eyes...they were the a tone of brown...like melted chocolate, swirled with black and dotted with the softest hints of green.

His hands as I have said before drew my attention the most. Excruciatingly long,and exotically slender streaked and stained with inks of all colours. The way he drew his forefinger along the document captivated me and I wondered what had taught him such a gentle caress.

Soon though, too soon for my enjoyment the small knot of elves broke apart and went off in their own directions leaving Erestor holding the document and looking...dissatisfied.

He looked up as if he sensed my eyes on him and I felt no shame in holding his gaze...which he only did for the merest breadth of a second, but that one second was all it took and I felt...inflamed. Not with lust, (although it was certainly present) but with passion and desire...I wanted to know this elf, I needed to know him...and as I stood up, my charming grin plastered on my face as I walked towards him he turned tail and fled!

All but running up the hall he disappeared down a hall that led to the library and in the distance I could swear I heard the door slam.

In stead of feeling slighted or hurt...I felt...exhilarated...amused...excited... What else would I find in this strange councilor?


	3. The Watching

**HOMIGOD. I'm back. W()(). Well here's chap 3..and Glorfy has a potty mouth and OMG there may, or may not be...some BOY KISSING. Which means one male. Kissing another male. Being homosexual...y'all remember where that back button is...RIGHT? So you've been warned. I own nothing. (I should also mention by the by that my narrative style is coming from my recent glutting on the various "Dexter" books by Jeff Lindsay...and we all know how I like credit where credit is due...) So yes, I OWN NOTHING! Sadly, nothing at all :( So don't sue me, because it's not mine...Thank you for all your reviews y'all keep me going! Feel free to let me know if there's something IN particular you'd like to see-ask Gemini Stones, I'm super flexible :D ENJOY**

It was bothering me. Flat out. I ended up talking with the twins for a while (at which point I learned the things I already related) but I couldn't focus on it for much longer then the 2 hours we took to sit around and eat and drink. But I couldn't stop myself. I excused myself as soon as I could and found myself walking towards the library.

I know what you're thinking! 'Glorfindel You! In the library? What next? A quill in hand? Paperwork and patrol reports in on time?' But...no...Of course my going there was for that one reason, that god damned councilor.

Because as soon as Elrohir had said "There's something about him" in reference to that strange air he couldn't place I felt an electric jolt up my spine. I was not the only one to see him, to glimpse...IT. Elrohir of course shrugged it off as nothing but the dark elfs newness to Rivendell.

I thought at that point, that I knew better. My age, my life and my experiences made me suspicious of him as some kind of spy. That had to be it. As I walked towards the library with each step I took, I grew more angry and more righteous and more determined. As I broached the door I decided I would slip in unnoticed so I might ascertain his true nature and secrets, so I could expose him to Elrond and banish him to where ever he came from, ending up as the hero that everyone knew me to...

Oh dear sweet Elebreth. My suspicions, all my lofty knowledge disappeared. Entirely. What a fool of an elfling I was being. How could this...this...no tongue I've ever learned could describe what I saw now. And it was a damned wonder I didn't fall over into a book case at that very second.

He was sitting at one of the small work desks in a darker corner of the room, directly opposite the door. He had three books in front of him as well as the document that had seemed of such importance before. He had a quill balanced behind one ear and one in his hand, which he rolled neatly over his knuckles every now and again, brushing the tip against his bottom lip, somehow managing NOT to be sexually provocative but entirely too pleasing at the same time.

I had only JUST managed to conceal myself quite neatly in a rather comfortable spot-how often was this space used for such things like this...the seneschal in me wondered-when he lifted his head and looked around.

It wasn't the usual gesture though. He didn't raise his chin and bring his head to it's natural height, no. He rose his eyes ever so slightly and peeked out from behind his curtain of dark hair, and ONLY when he had ascertained that -to his knowledge- there was no one else in the room did he fully lift his head. After this he dropped the quill on the desk and retrieved the other one from behind his pointed ear, laid it next to it's companion. Quite promptly I thought I was going to either pass out or commit some very sullying deeds in my corner. He shifted his hips, arched his back and then reached one hand behind him to massage the small of his back. With a soft sigh he all but flopped forward and then raised his chin again, looking around carefully he paused at least a full minute or two before he shifted his hips again, and turning in his seat I was given an exquisite view of his face as he wrapped his long fingers around the back left hand side of his chair, straightened his back aligned his neck and twisted his upper body around. I could tell he actively repressed a moan as a series of cracks issued from the ailing region and with only the barest of sighs he bent back to his work.

Now, I have lived through more then enough Gods awful council meetings to have seen people do this before. I myself did it sometimes when I found myself on horseback before. Alternatively I have also heard that acts of healing aches and pains (massaging for example) can be extremely erotic. Never before have I believed it. And here we come back to the most irritating part of this elf.

The fact that instead of feeling like doing what I normally do, with my radiant good looks, charming personality, weighty reputation and ravishing skills in the bedroom. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, hold him close, ask him why he was pushing himself so hard, tell him to lay aside his books and all others be damned if he be not good enough in their eyes. I do not like sentimental horse shit. But here I was...

And there I stayed. For two and a half MORE hours I watched him. Crouched in my corner. Watching. All he did was read. He read at an unbelievable, exponential rate (now I don't normally skulk around watching people read...but I'm fairly certain that he reads faster then Elrond)

I damn near fell over myself when I heard the gong sound for dinner. Blinking my eyes I looked around, wondering if I had fallen asleep. My mind had just wandered off into some silly little day dream where I picked Erestor (Literally) up from his office and carried him off to the gardens. We talked and he told me everything (I was in the process of making up some little narrative about a sister he might have possessed when I was interrupted) and now...I was wondering how long I'd been going about such a stupid pursuit.

Long enough it seemed that I almost forgot my reality, as I only stopped myself from moving a split second before I fully remembered I didn't WANT him to see me. He looked up and frowned heavily, his lips pressed tightly together and he swept his head right and then left and then with a hefty sigh he marked his place in all three books, stood up and walked solemnly out of the library.

I gave him about ten minutes head start and then followed him trying to appear boisterous and hearty as I entered the dining hall. But my comrades were kind of pissing me off. To be frank. The meal was filled with their chatter, some about their families, most about their plans for their time off or lovers they were planning to conquest before they left for their 5 day patrols. I couldn't get my eyes, or mind off of him.

The dinner wasn't totally fruitless though. I learned his name. Officially. I had only ever heard others say it up until then. As he sat down quietly-for some reason he'd arrived at the table AFTER I did- he lifted his glass and poured himself a drink from the tea-pot as others helped themselves mostly to wine or water. Elrond lifted his head from listening to something Elrohir was recounting to him and when his son was done he smiled lightly "Councilor, this is my Seneschal, Glorfindel" he threw out quickly leaving them to their own conversation, almost as if he knew know it all for-seeing bastard.

"Seneschal, I have heard much of you" He said, and his voice was barely a whisper. His eyes didn't dare flick to mine, they came as far as my nose, he tilted his head to the side though and seemed almost...as if he was...smelling...me?

Shaking my head I imagined it off as more of my stupidity "Councilor! You're the talk of the hour! Call me Glorfindel, I don't hold much to formal titles" I boomed out.

He almost flinched and I felt a chip fall off my heart and resolved to speak in a softer tone from now on. "Well then You shall have to call me Erestor, for equality." He whispered back and then turned his attention to his tea and dinner.

"Erestor" I repeated and forced my usual smile, though by then all pretense was lost. Once again my blue eyes riveted to his form, and though I DESPERATELY tried to focus on the conversations around me...I couldn't. I hoped that there was no lust in my eyes, for I didn't want him to think I thought about him that way. I admit freely that I did want him...but as I have said before, I'll say again—not JUST to lay him down and FUCK him. I...wanted. Him. I. Wanted. All. Of. HIM.

I shook my head and distracted myself with food. Each flavourful bite doing none of it's job. Finally the meal was over and most retired to the Halls of Fire for some more drink, maybe something of Lindir's music...I knew it would seem extremely strange for me NOT to go, so I begrudgingly went (not so begrudgingly though as I went along I realized the EXTREME unlikeliness that Erestor would be there) so a grin took my face, as I thought that perhaps I'd find respite.

My spirits both rose to my throat and shrank to the shadows as I found him there. Sitting beside Elrond. But, my treacherous mind said, at least he didn't look happy about it. He was introduced to several other councilors and some of the junior advisers and scribes he had yet to meet.

I took up with my men in the corner and once again took to my usual hobby-of late- watching HIM. I couldn't take it very long and thought that perhaps if I could just get away...have the night to myself everything would make sense.

I got up and to my delight, no one noticed me as I stomped off, confused and frustrated at my deteriorating mood.

A nice hot bath had done WONDERS, and one hour later, dressed in the loosest of sleeping pants and little else I finished my stretching** ((A/N Think tai Chi))** and collapsed boneless onto my chaise. Stretching out my long legs I closed my eyes and then tensed, I heard a sound...the sound of my door knob turning, and while I wasn't shy about my space or privacy the people who would come in without knocking were more likely to fling the door open boisterously shouting my name.

I opened my eyes slowly, only to find that the door was being eased closed, and I was face to face with a black clad back. I raised an eyebrow and stood up equally as slowly. The figure turned the lock and no doubt knew I was standing, but none the less said nothing to me.

He turned slowly and then it was my turn to gasp sharply.

I opened my mouth, but didn't have a chance to speak. Cold lips on mine, the taste of dark cherry tea, the sensation of long, ice cold fingers in my hair at the sides of my head, ice cold thumbs massaging the tips of my ears, teasing inside ever so slightly and then coming to rest just where the lobes met my neck. Then his tongue, so warm, the only heated part of him so far teased along my bottom lip, just ever so slightly.

I opened my mouth, not wanting to resist, I couldn't resist even if I HAD wanted to. But I sure as all the fires of Mordor was not going to take a backseat. I raised my hands and one slid to the small of his back yanking him hard against me, the other slid into his hair-soft as silk and twice as delicate. It filtered through my fingers like water or soft sand.

My tongue pushed against his and he eagerly let me take him over. I tasted him all the more and massaged as deep as I could, he clung to me, claw like fingers in my hair, on my scalp and as I kissed him, he began to sob.

I moved to break off the kiss and move away but he shook his head 'no' and drug me closer again, toppling me to my chaise he crawled on top of me, straddled my lap and kissed me all the more.

I began to taste the salt of his tears in the kiss, but something in my mind that was not OF my mind told me that he needed me. That I had something, that he needed. My hands moved, one to his hip to keep him steady and the other to caress one ice cold cheek.

At long, long last his sobs began to subside and with degrees of lessening we finally broke apart and I was able to look into his deep brown eyes. I had been expecting anguish, pain, fear, or some other emotion that would cause him to cry like this, but all I could see was the shyest, gentlest, softest joy, I had ever seen in another person. It was a terrified sort of happiness, but it was all Erestor and I reached up and brushed calloused warm fingers under his eyes to show him that I wasn't afraid.


	4. Dreams and the Truth

**Guess who's committing all sorts of fun little crimes with the time line/happenings? That's right ME! M'kay so this is NEVER REALLY happened. So NOT what was real. BUT! BUT! Go with me if you wouldn't mind? It makes things all the more fun if you goof around with such things. Again. A total warning THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE REAL. THIS ISN'T MEANT TO FOLLOW ANY REAL THING. Whoo. With that off my chest I remind you nothing of this is mine at all. But ENJOY!**

For a long time we just stared at each other. Brown on blue. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. Reaching out Erestor put his soft and gentle hand on my cheek and stroked gently. Leaning forward he kissed me again and I closed my eyes and leaned into it.

I didn't want to scare him away so I simply kissed back until I felt his gentle tongue pushing along my lower lip. Then I opened my mouth and let him in. This time it was slow, and tentative as he gently pushed into my mouth and tasted of everything I offered him.

He reached forward and grabbed my hands and dragged them onto his body placing them tentatively on his upper torso. I ran my powerful, calloused fingers over the soft, thin white shirt he was wearing, feeling his too-cold flesh underneath.

I felt desperate and reached for the ties that held it shut, pausing only a moment until he gently shifted his chest underneath me, giving me more access. I pounced. My hands slipped underneath his shirt and I skimmed back and forth with my palms a few times desperate to warm him up. My thumbs brushed his nipples and I smiled to myself at the tiny groan that broke his lips.

I kissed him once more and desperate to bring those sounds from his lips again I latched onto his neck and sucked. Hard. He moaned, louder this time and his hands came up around my back, clutching desperately.

"Erestor" I moaned quietly and licked up his neck, pressing small kisses up towards his earlobe I| took it in my mouth and suckled ever so gently.

He opened his mouth and soft breath blew across my neck and his hands skated up my sides. And the cold of his fingers trailed fire across my ribs, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of my neck, under my ear and heat spread there too. Then he was gripping me tighter, and tighter, clinging to me as I suckled harder on his neck.

Then it was too much and I groaned lightly. "Erestor...too tight" I whispered and then I flickered my blue eyes open and screamed.

"Hello. Glorfindel." He whispered and I screamed again, but he forced his firey tongue down my throat, the horns slid from his long brown hair and my screams were consumed by fire and then I opened my eyes for real and screamed out in anguish once more.

Hands on my upper arm and blue eyes and blonde hair swum into focus. "Glorfindel?" he asked quietly and blinked his eyes.

I recognized the voice and my murky brain struggled to follow along. "Haldir?" I asked quietly.

"Thank the Gods" he said softly.

My neck burnt, my arms burnt, and my ribs felt like they had grown limbs and were trying to crawl out of my flesh.

"Haldir...what..." I began but suppressed a whimper as I tried to lift my head, the world was swimming.

"The Goblins mellon nin. They attacked you in the woods during the rain storm." He explained quietly, though I remembered nothing of what he spoke.

"Goblins..." I recalled something about Elrond and going somewhere...

"Elrond?" I demanded all of a sudden, the warrior in me needing to know the truth.

"He's fine." Haldir replied. "We came upon you whilst you were still fighting, 5 of your men were slain but they fought bravely and you most of all. You had only just come to a place where you could not continue fighting when we came upon you."

The delegation had been to provide Galadriel with extra soldiers. Brave goblins. "and Elrohir and Elledan?" I asked again softly.

"Everyone is fine, save your five men" he replied softly.

I relaxed against the...soft pillows beneath me. "Why am I..." I broke off quietly.

"You had surrendered your sword to spare Elledan's life, the goblin was standing in front of you with a rope 'round your neck...talking to you of the joke that he had put you through...that he would take Elledan's life surely as he would take yours." he continued.

I sighed softly and shook my head "if everyone is alive perhaps it be better I do not remember" I replied quietly.

"Perhaps" another voice chimed in.

I looked over as best as I could and saw a person in a white robe. A healer. "I was beginning to worry you would never wake. You've been asleep for four days straight." he replied running a hand gently over his shoulder.

I groaned softly and blinked heavily. "My dreams" I managed and shook my head.

"Dreams? Probably nothing more then a by product of the potions I've been pouring down your throat, or possibly the poison of the goblins." the healer mused.

I sighed, and felt as if my heart broke a little "I see" I said quietly.

"You certainly weren't enjoying them" Haldir said with a soft smirk.

"I wasn't?" I asked, confused...I most certainly had been!

"Your screams, mellon nin, such as I have not heard in a while" he replied

"It did not start out that way" The healer said, with his own smirk.

"Oh really? and what did you dream about?" Haldir asked, turning his attention to me again with a snort.

"Nothing" I replied, and though I could see (and the past would dictate) Haldir wanted to ask more, but the sadness and bereftment of my tone must have made him back off, 'cos he just chuckled and moved on to tell me of the injuries of my others.

I fell asleep half way and remained that way-under the torment of the fucking Balrog for most of the rest of the day. I awoke to Elrond around the dinner hour, who'd done his best to revive me, because he said that my writhing wasn't good for my injuries, never mind my mind.

I smiled weakly, but seeing his face made me think of maddeningly brown eyes and I closed my eyes after only a few moments, the torment of the Balrog preferable to the memory of Erestor's face.

My tears came as soon as I heard him left. "Fuck you" I growled softly and let the torment come. For two days I lingered like this. Everyone tried, Elrond, Elledan, Elrohir, my lieutenant, my captain, Haldir, Rumil, Orophin, even Celeborn tried.

I couldn't listen to them. When my lord or his sons came to me, I let the madness come immediately, surrendering to the Balrog, who wore Erestor's black robes and long dark hair. It had it's own horns and burnt out eyes, it's tail and whip. It stank of smoke and ash and whenever it kissed me I breathed in lungfuls of ash. But I couldn't bear to see THIER long dark hair around their angular faces...it was too much.

I tried to focus on my men, and on Haldir and his brothers, talk of battles past and to come, but inevitably I'd see the charm on Rumil's wrist, and the ring on Orophin's finger, reminded of Rumils bonded mate and Orophin's bonded wife. My mind would pitch and swell on the fact that I would never have Erestor in that way, that he would never be MINE. And I would surrender to my tormentor again.

Part of my mind felt foolish, and I knew that 'Erestor' was just a figure that my tormentor had created to lure me to him. and in those moments I figured that in my near death (the second time around) I had succumbed to some evil thing that was bent on taking me to its dark place. To have me for its very own. I knew that if I fought it, I'd escape, I'd be whole and elfish and good and strong once more...but I didn't want to. For the very fact that it was still my Erestor. My heart didn't want to be alone. Yet I didn't fade, couldn't fade, wouldn't fade, not because I didn't –WANT- to but because I just...wouldn't.

One night, as I lay waiting for sleep to take me after a particularly lonely day ( I think Elrond had made a correlation with visits and my madness and was trying to figure out a different way to bring me back) I turned over on my side and damn near leapt from my bed.

There was another figure that lay there, someone I had not seen before. Someone I was just seeing now because apparently he had been hidden behind a curtain until someone forgot to draw it. It was burnt, heavily. From what I could tell this person wore no clothes, was hidden just below a sheet, it's dark hair was singed, burnt straight down in other places, its arms were at its sides the hands being most burnt of all. For whatever reason though, the pinky finger and about three inches of the left wrist were un-burnt, pale as new fallen snow...except for the long streak of red ink that disappeared into the burn.


	5. The other side

**Holy wow it's been a fair bit but here I am again :D It may be short but sometimes I get these spurts of nothing at all so I'm going to try to do a mini-update to slog through some of the boring stuff to get back into the blood and guts of the plot. Business first: **

_**Rhelena: Thank you! I just hope it's not getting too...weird ()_() I was really hoping for somethin' fluffy and light but...I suppose these two are just NOT allowed to have too much fluffy and light ()_() **_

_**Dragonrider125: BLAM here ya go**_

_**Ana Auron: ^_^ Double here ya go**_

_**Estry: Very slowly **_

_**Danira: ^_^ Thank you, it definitely started as a one shot but then it started to invade my head and it turned into an all out KABLAM with a plot line and a story line and angst and Balrogs...I desperately hope to get back to the fluffy stuff soon...this one took on its own life ()_()**_

_** aka Lizinsky: I think it has potential as well but thank you for saying so:) I definitely think that there may have to be offshoots of this one...but we'll see...()_()**_

**ENJOY**

I have always been a very different elf. Very set apart, not cold and aloof, not cruel and closed off...just...different. While I don't value being alone as much as people seem to think I do I tolerate it because I suppose being alone, is better then being...I'm not sure.

I'd say made fun of, or perhaps made a fool of...but they do that already so I'm not certain where I would go with that.

None the less, I don't hate my life for my half enforced solitude, I in fact, find it MOST enjoyable. Because to be alone is very enlightening.

I see things others don't see, I feel things others don't feel. I am left to my own devices, my own thoughts, and my own meanderings far more then anyone else-and it is probably because of that that I find appreciation in things that others don't stop to appreciate. It does have severely negative draw backs though-not just the label of the cold, aloof, calculating librarian wannabe Councillor but the things I appreciate can never be shared.

I am DEFINITELY not always as boring and austere as people think I am -I think if any of the Marchwarden's found out some of my inner thoughts they would be shocked to the edge of Mordor and back a thousand times over.

Lately though I've been feeling it more and more and more and more, that feeling of being not quite enough. I mean in some small possibly arrogant way I've always felt more superior to the other elves around me. As an elfling I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do AND I knew how to do it. I dreamed of becoming a scholar, and as a young student I dreamed of becoming a scribe, as a scribe I dreamed of becoming a librarian-nothing has stood in my way thus far, and when Silinde started taking me to meetings I knew that it was bound to happen. But that feeling...that damned feeling haunted me in everything.

It was my dreams that were the hardest to endure, I dreamt of things I had only ever written of before, warm, strong hands, sun kissed flesh, blonde hair, warm lips sucking the life from me in the most distinctive of ways. I would wake drenched in sweat, lost in paroxysms of pleasure that seemed to have created themselves, I love sex. Probably more then Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin -combined- so why did it bother me so much to have these dreams? Because...well, they were very different.

Which was only compounded by the strangest visitor to my library in all the years I've mastered it...

"_Erestor" her voice was like silk, flowing across the room to colour and shape the air around her. _

_ "My lady" the Noldo leapt immediately to his feet, eyes wide with shock and awe at having her here, in his library._

_ "Prepare yourself, penneth nin. It is time." She said quietly, a soft, knowing smile in her eyes._

_ "Time for what?" he asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly_

_ "For changes both great and small...your knowledge is endless Erestor but you must survive the flames of destruction before you can be TRULY kissed by the golden sun" she said mysteriously, and he felt his brows draw together._

_ "You are different, Erestor and so is he...you must know what he has known the same as he is coming to know what you know" she said, and then his eyes flew wide opened, and soft magenta coloured his neck and face, up his pale ears. She knew. _

_ "I will not let you perish. But you and he must burn together, as you already do" and with that the beautiful golden lady slipped out the doors and disappeared, without so much as another word._

The dreams, being kissed by the Golden sun...I closed my eyes in memory of the dreams, they were infrequent at first, brought on I thought by indulging in too much imagery laced poetry. But after a while they started to come every night. And they always started in the same way.

Walking down a hallway, showing something to someone (it was completely irrelevant and always served as nothing but an irritation) when I felt eyes on me, I'd look up, discretely trying to see but I never did. Wherever I was I was expected but not...known, if that makes sense. As if I was supposed to be there but no one was sure why.

I'd feel the eyes leave and then I would leave, returning to my work-usually something I was translating which again, was a useless annoying detail that got in the way and prevented me from going to where I wanted to go.

My body would ache and ache, my dream self seemed to think it was from the position above the desk, but my mind self KNEW it was an unrelenting, unrepentant throbbing that made me ache so. My dream self would stretch and for half a second AGAIN I knew I was being watched, but it didn't matter.

Then I would go to eat...and then I'd meet him, those around me, those that were talking or sitting or doing whatever the flames of Mordor thought was good for them to do. I remember feeling as I always do out of place, off to the side, set aside, not sure what to do or what to say because whatever I want to say is not what they expect of me, and will only garner me a terrible reputation, so I stay silent. And then. Then. He appears.

Tall, broad, muscular, perfect in every way, his long golden hair plaited hap-hazardly down his back most of it spilling out free and loose. He is dressed as a warrior with tight tunic and tight leggings, showing off EVERY thing the Valar has given him.

He smiles as he sees me, and someone introduces me, I nod my head, and can't quite meet his eyes-he is far too tall. I cannot look much into his eyes but I can smell him, musk and sweat and cranberries, yes, cranberries...or juniper berries? He always greets me in the same way "Councilor! You're the talk of the hour! Call me Glorfindel, I don't hold much to formal titles" and I reply in the same way "Well then You shall have to call me Erestor, for equality." he repeats my name and his eyes tell me nothing, there is a flash there, but nothing else and for once. For ONCE. I feel as if I have been recognized, as if he sees something in me that no one else does...though it is gone in a second and he turns his mind back to those around him but it was there...

There is something about him too, that easy going manner, his booming voice and gentle comraderie, something that I deeply admire and recognize, and I use my hair as a shield while I watch him relentlessly, thinking shamelessly of how I wish I could see his eyes unguarded, see him with a much more lurid smile on his face, his eyes closed, head pressed back to the pillows...I knew that if only he DID see me, for more then just another icy cold councillor then maybe...maybe I'd have a chance.

And dear Elebreth there was something about HIM. Something that took my soul and my breath...but as the night wore on and I was forced to go somewhere with a LOT of people, where I felt alone, again, as always. I spoke of literature and history, of politics and diplomacy, languages and music-all subjects I knew a great deal about, but I was not asked of myself. I was not made into an important subject, I was hardly made into anything at all, once again cast into a place reserved for the people that no one bothers to understand.

There was something though in me...something...was I being watched again? It was irritating and then I saw him, his blue eyes, riveted on my face, I don't think he saw me looking but I watched him out of the corner of my eyes and saw him get up and storm out, angry. But I had seen it. I was almost positive.

It coursed through me hot and ready and I could hardly repress a moan, it took me 20 minutes to extricate myself politely from the company I was sitting with. I trailed around the house, sniffing deeply, he was the only male I'd EVER met to smell like Juniper berries and it wasn't hard to find where he slept.

I paused outside his door and moved to knock, but I bit down on my bottom lip and hesitated, I took a deep breath and turned the knob, it opened silently underneath my hand and I slipped in, turned my back on him and closed and locked the door.

I turned slowly as I heard him get up, I reared my chin as I saw him and he saw me, blue and brown and electricity shot through me EVERY time. He opened his mouth and recognition flashed over his entire body and I took the opportunity, I vaulted myself forward and launched my arms around his neck careening up I took his lips, hard. I pushed my tongue in his mouth tasting everything he gave to me.

For a moment I thought that I was alone in my dance...again that he hadn't seen me, hadn't recognized it, hadn't shared it, but I clung to his head, to his warm flesh and liquid golden hair, and kissed him for all I was worth.

Rewarded at last, I always felt the pure relief running through me as his hands threaded into my hair clinging me close needing me, wanting me. He yanked my body hard against his and I kissed him until I felt real, until I felt like an elf again.

The dream would go on, sometimes he would throw me to the ground and fuck me until I bled while I screamed for him to do it, sometimes he laid me on the couch and kissed me until I couldn't breathe, then he would hold me in front of the fire trading kisses for stories, or poems. Sometimes (and these were my favourites) he would lead me to his bedroom and we would make love in the silvery moonlight all night long, alternating fast and slow, long and short...I think that in some way I began to love him. No. No. I DID. I did love him, with everything in me...this dream figure.

It was the day that Galadriel came to me in the library that the dream changed...that my life began to change, drastically, and if I had known then the truth-I never would have done what I was about to do, ever...but it had to change, and I wouldn't go back and fix it...because now...now he appears.


	6. When Needs must

**I'm not too sure what Loth Lorien actually looks like..so forgive me if I get this wrong...I hope you'll just enjoy it regardless but if you want to rant and scream...go nuts :)Time lines are also all over the place. It's A/U but...that's ok :D I own nothing. Nothing at all. Except a dog. But ...he doesn't pay. So. TOLKIEN. Yep. K. ENJOY! :D **

I fell asleep, with relative ease as I always did, desperately wanting the dream more then anything in the world. It started the same as always, the watching, the work, the ache, the meeting, everything..until we were alone.

We kissed, hard, I clung to him and he clung back, he kissed down my neck, and I clung to him, and then I opened my eyes, all at once, as he sprung away, screaming in terror. I pulled away and looked at him, it wasn't disgust or anything...it was pure terror.

Erestor reached out to touch him and as soon as he touched his lovers cheek it was as if his hand had been burnt by a flame hotter then the librarian had ever felt.

He yanked it back and blinked rapidly "Glorf..." he said but he disappeared. Just...poofed into smoke and disappeared.

I awoke with a start, his screams of terror ringing through my mind as I desperately tried to understand the changes. Galadriel's words, and the peril in the surrounding feelings.

I scrubbed my face, I had hardly been alseep for 3 hours but I knew that there would be no more sleep for me that night. I rose and dressed in my usual black robes and headed slowly out the door and down the hall.

Wandering aimlessly, was always something I liked to do, and eventually I found my way to a small clearing in the trees, a book idly in my left hand I sat down on the grass and pulled out my favourite quill, and a small bottle of ink, settling in to write a little-perhaps the poetry would ease my mind.

Concentration it seems, was not my friend because only a short while later when I heard a massive commotion. Orophin and Rumil came flying through the clearing, calling to each other and raising an uproar amongst the inhabitants of the forest though nothing was truly clear from the clamour that surrounded them.

Rumil spotted me and called out to me "Master Erestor, please go forth to the healers and make them ready, we have many injured"

I did not question, though I was very confused, and curious, and admittedly a little anxious, I did not question.

I packed my things and flew up the trees, and ran along an overhanging bridge towards the wards of the healers. I came flying in and found that there was a scout in there already, panting and out of breath, the healers looked at me, hopefully and it was clear that no one had gotten any useful information from him.

Stepping forward I gestured my hand to garner their attention "All I know, is that the march warden Rumil has said that there are many injured in the party they are bringing here"

They looked at me, read my serious expression and stirred themselves into a frenzy, they called on all their assistants in the immediate vicinity. "Master Erestor, will you..." the chief healer began but I nodded my head.

"I will seek the rest of your staff, and then the Lord and Lady if no one has gone to get them by now" I said quietly and then turned on my heel and rushed out.

I was very used to this, anticipating their moves and knowing what would be needed without being recognized for it, it will be my job.

Shaking myself from those thoughts I roused the other healers in the wing and then headed towards the royal talon, but paused less then half way there as I saw Galadriel and Celeborn passing on the ground underneath. I bowed, though I didn't think they saw me, but Galadriel looked up, flashed me a look and I saw a mounting fire in my mind. Gasping I pressed three fingers to my temple, and all but ran to my library, taking refuge in the only place I would ever be comfortable.

Six days passed and I didn't learn much about the people in the infirmary. I _did_ learn that they were from Imladris, and had traveled here with Lord Elrond, protecting him as he came here for a random diplomatic emergency that some lower level members of the house hold...me being one of them...didn't need to know about.

I was curious as anybody else, but I also had a job to do-Lord Elrond was the lore master, and my library was one of the most beautiful in the known elven world, and because I felt (in spite of Galadriel's strange words and my dreams) disconnected from the hubbub that was going on around the royalty and their diplomatic talks and missions, I wanted to do nothing more then impress the half-elf with my library.

It seemed easy enough to do, from his very first wandering in he was in love and spent long hours in the comforting dark of my world. I felt a certain thrill of inner pleasure, partially because the half elf lord preferred my place of work and my..sort of..company to that of any one else. Of course he spent more time with Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, but in his free time, when they were busy with their own affairs, he preferred me. My thrills also came from the fact that he was ridiculously attractive. His dark hair, and his face was delicately carved, but traced ever so slightly with age. His grey eyes sparkled with emotion as he read, or wrote, his favourite thing to do was to translate-he did it just for fun. The way his fingers gripped the quill drove me wild.

In the past I might have spent a little too much time being distracted by those delicate fingers, imagining their grip on something other then a recycled bird feather...but all I could think of was my Glorfindel.

My dreams had been completely black, blank, filled with nothing. Not even anything unrelated to the blonde, just...nothing. When I slept, I slept...and it was extremely disconcerting.

After weeks of spending time with the powerful blonde I was completely upset by the fact that now there was nothing...especially when it had ended the way that it had.

Worse was the way that Galadriel's words echoed in my head. _ You must survive the __flames of destruction before you can be TRULY kissed by the golden sun._ I had no idea what that was supposed to mean and it drove me to distraction.

Still though, everyone grew slowly envious of me-Silinde alone, grew proud of me for being in such great stead with the half-elf lord, but even Silinde was acting strange, sort of sad and distant, though I suppose that could just be from my own mental confusion and fear.

For what seemed like the fiftieth time I shook my head and continued down the hallway to my library, though I froze right outside the door as I heard voices, Lord Elrond's and someone elses-his sons? And our chief healer.

"I do not think any of us should see him again" Lord Elrond said gravely.

"I do not understand why you think this" His son

"Because, Elrohir, each time we visit him he grows worse" Elrond replied irritatedly.

"I agree, he surrenders to his tormentor, to the balrog when he sees you. The most I can get out of him after you leave, is something about the dark hair..." the healer

"But he has no problem seeing the warriors then? I do not want to leave him completely alone" Elrohir

I bit my lip, I knew I Shouldn't be listening but the blood storming through my veins told me I was about to be changed, a tiny flick of fire up my spine and I KNEW something was about to happen.

"He is saddened by something about them, he will not say what but they sadden him too, we must find a new way to approach his healing" Our healer said sadly, but insistently.

"I know you do not understand Elrohir, but I promise you, " Lord Elrond said slowly, "I will not allow Glorfindel to wander lost in his pain forever.

Glorfindel. Glorfindel. Glorfindel. Glorfindel. It echoed through my mind and I fled, I didn't care anymore about my library, the book under my arm I had retrieved from my rooms for the lord. Nothing. I couldn't care. Glorfindel. The injured elf in the infirmary. Glorfindel. Blonde hair, powerful muscles, golden skin...Glorfindel. MY. Glorfindel. MY Glorfindel. Burning.

I could only manage to make it to my quarters, I collapsed on my bed and drew my knees to my chest. My wide brown eyes, stared off over the expanse of the room, not seeing anything, I took a deep breath and smelt the juniper berries. "Glorfindel" I whispered quietly.

Most times, as I've already said, I love my intelligence, my intellect is my most powerful ally, it has led me to wonderful places in my life, and it will only lead me to better places...most times. But in this case, I wished with everything in me that I could have ignorance. That I wouldn't have known the things that I knew now.

I put it all together. And with all of my being I wished that I hadn't.

The screams...the pain,t he fire, the balrog, the visions, the dark hair, the sadness. I made leaps and bounds and it all made sense. If Glorfindel was a REAL person (which most of my research had pointed to as a possibility, however remote...Glorfindel had died...but...here he was again, apparently, but his death was the type of thing that might be repealed under the right spiritual circumstances. But anyway, IF Glorfindel was a real person, a real elf, laying upstairs in the healing talon. Then perhaps he DID see me, he did see me as the real person I am, perhaps, probably, he too fell in love with me as I fell in love with him. My spirit, visited his in the world of dreams and we mingled.

But the balrog...his consciousness had been altered by being wounded and injured as he had been, badly enough to be tended in the healing wings. In that tormented state of unconsciousness between death, my spirit had been twisted into the death spirit of the Balrog and he thought that I had become the balrog. Now, because of his state of being, he thought that I was not real. That I had always been the balrog and because I knew from my own feelings that the thought of living without him was too painful-he must be feeling the same way. We were connected, and my distractedness, my fear, my anxiety, my pain of the last week...must be in part his.

Which means that I was causing his death. Tears pricked my eyes and ice cold sureness flooded every single part of my body, and I knew then what I needed to do to make it right. What I wanted to do to save his sanity, and his life.

I needed to burn. I wanted to burn. I stood up in a sort of mechanical way, and looked down at my ink stained hands, quietly I looked around my rooms and said goodbye to my journal, my volumes of poetry, my beautiful bed...never used in the way I had always hoped. I began to walk towards my favourite writing clearing, and mechanically said good bye to everything I loved on the way there.

I quietly gathered the things I would require, I wrangled a small case of wine-the stuff that had gone sour, they always laid it out on the back steps of the kitchen, which (deliberately) was on the way to that clearing. I carried it with me, and since no one ever cared about the movements of a librarian I wasn't noticed for carrying it with me. I laid it down beside me and looked up into the afternoon sky.

The poet in me, the romantic side of me told me it would be more beautiful and delicate to do this at night, write a beautiful letter explaining everything and lay it in a tree, then turn myself alight and surrender to the moon and the glistening night sky.

But my burning wasn't for beauty, or poetry. My heart was breaking and all I wanted to do was set my lover free-if I burnt, then Glorfindel would be free-I could burn in the proverbial flames of the balrog so my golden sun could walk free.

So I simply created a small fire, as quickly and mechanically as I could, doused myself in the liquor, whispered a solemn farewell to my life I threw myself into the fired up my right hand, catching fire on the liquor I'd dropped there. The pain all over was instantaneous and overwhelming, I opened my mouth and screamed for all I was worth.

It was agonizing, and instinct told me to roll it out, but Glorfindel's face loomed in my mind and I clenched my eyes shut and forced the flames to lick at my clothes, at my face I flashed out my left hand and dug it into the dirt, just for some sort of grounding presence in my wildly turning mind. It caught in my hair and my robes, burnt down to my chest , I could feel it burning its way through my mind and the smoke flew to my nostrils, I began to pass out, only sort of realizing the presence of hands and cloaks and dirt and water...someone was putting out the fire, and as I tried to protest, as my mind flew from sanity and I fell to unconsciousness I was fairly certain I saw Lady Galadriel, and fairly certain I heard her say "I will not let you perish"


	7. Together at Last

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delays...I sort of hit a block with this one...and so I give you this short little chapter to work through the kinks of the block and enable myself to get back to the story itself :) HUZZAH. I love y'all and again, sorry for delays, to all my fans...Elrond/Erestor coming TOMORROW! :D And Haldir/Eomer...hopefully tomorrow too! :D :D((I OWN NOTHING...NOPE. NOTHING. Tolkien does...NOT ME...)) ENJOY**

I scrambled out of bed as fast as my underused legs would allow me. I walked on shaky feet to the bedside of the other. I felt like my heart was shuddering to it's finish inside my breast. I reached out with a shaking hand to press two fingers to the soft patch of white and red skin, that lay free of burns on the bed.

His skin was cold-as I knew it ought to be, and I stepped closer. As I moved out of the shadows, I saw that he was not _nearly_ as badly burnt as I had originally thought.

He had light burns over his shoulders and his arm, but the fire had not even eaten away the majority of his silken, dark hair. So rare to find amongst wood elves as these.

The worst of the burns were to his chest and shoulders, up one side of his slender, columned neck but even those-weren't pussed or even badly blistered...just red and very angry looking.

My fingers had trailed over his arm ever so slightly as I contemplated his burns and beauty, and my thoughts broke off as the elf turned his head, murky brown eyes turned to me "Erestor" I murmured, quietly, hardly daring to believe that the figure I had so long coveted in my dreams was actually awake, alive, and read in front of me.

A soft groan broke his lips and his eyes began to focus, I gulped and retracted my hand, wrapping my fingers with all my strength around the bed frame lest my knees give out and I threated my first impression. His eyes cleared completely as he came to full wakefulness, and shock, delight, fear, and confusion mingled in their melted chocolate depths. "Glorfindel" he murmured softly, reaching out weakly with his unburnt hand, one finger trailed over one of my hands and I reached out and with a child-like fear I wrapped one finger around his finger as I spoke.

"Gods Erestor you...you...you're...you...you're..." I babbled...so much for my first impression.

"Alive?" he finished my sentence but I shook my head.

"Real"I whispered softly, in reply.

"So are you" he said quietly, looking at me weakly. He whimpered involuntarily as he shifted positions and felt the sheet graze his right shoulder.

That sound rent my heart, but somewhere in my mind I felt the death screams of the Balrog and I knew without knowing how, that -Erestor- had defeated my beast.

"But how? Why?" I asked in a soft tone, gulping gently.

I almost laughed at the scholarly, serious tone that laced his single word "Magick"

"That's a stupid reason" I said, with a snort of irrepressible laughter.

"Unfortunately there is not..." he broke off to a spasm of coughing, intermingled with whimpers as his coughs shook his body and rasped his flesh against the sheets.

I reached up a little bit and stroked his hair with tender fingers, I didn't have to wonder why he was coughing because I remembered the searing burn of smoke in your chest...the agony of trying to get the sludge out while breathing simultaneously.

After a moment he managed to drag in a full breath and cleared his throat, turning slightly again so he was mostly on his unburnt side. "Elebreth, the pain..." he murmured.

"Is there aught I can do for you?" I asked quietly, stroking my hand over a singed chunk of hair.

"water?" he asked quietly, after a quick search I found some and brought it over to him, holding it to his lips he managed two small sips before he collapsed onto his pillows.

"How long have you been here?" he asked me quietly.

"A while" was my simple answer, a pause, and then I asked. "You?"

"Since this night" he murmured in reply, taking a small breath before racking with coughs again, his whimpers turned to sobs and he tried to still his body and cough at the same time, tearing a piece of over stretched flesh on his shoulder he began to bleed ever so slightly, I wanted our alone time to last but I couldn't bear the agony of his sobs so I turned to call for a healer-only to find one well on her way, a mug in hand, she looked at me sharply.

"You should be in bed Seneschal." She said, in the same sharp, utilitarian tone.

"But I..." she interrupted me

"Bed. I will take care of him. You are not needed." she said and pulled the curtain back around his bed, and ask Erestor looked at me imploringly, with pained brown eyes, I felt a piece of my heart jump as that sight was ripped from me.

I stepped around the curtain and pulled myself to as much of my height as my injuries-though healing well- would allow. "I do not want him to have to be alone" I said, in a tone that begged her to defy me.

She looked at me sternly for about a second, before she demured to my wishes and sighed softly, "fine but you have to sit there" here, she indicated a nearby chair. "And stay out of my way"

I did as instructed, though I moved the chair to the other side of the bed, by the window and reached out to touch Erestor's other hand, though I stopped as I realized that this one was burnt worse then his shoulders and neck combined.

He persevered though, and clenching his teeth in the back reached out to brush one pink, swollen, charcoal stained finger tip against my wrist. "You're so real" he murmured after swallowing several sips of whatever Elrond had made.

"So are you" I said, and then shrugged lamely, realizing that I would never amount to much of an orator-especially not in his amazing eyes.

But it seemed to please him greatly because he managed to force a smile in spite of his wounds. Brushing the same fingertip, along the same path on my wrist-I knew I shouldn't, I knew it was wrong, I knew he and I were both injured, I knew, better then most, that he would be in world clashing agony for several weeks at least. But I couldn't helpshuddering, not shudder, but...I don't know...those heated fingers whispered from my wrist down my spine, it pooled in my belly and fired itself in my groin...I knew what those finger tips could do...and now, they were real, injured, burnt of course...but real. And not just real, but on my flesh. My Actual flesh.

I was brought out of my thoughts as he screamed, he tried so hard to hold it back, I could tell. But it didn't succeed, and it rent from his throat, 3 of them, in a row while his good hand curled around the bed post above him. I closed my eyes and flinched away as it happened but then I reached out and ran fingers through his long silken hair to soothe him. "I know it hurts meleth nin, it helps if you breathe as they pull the bandages from your flesh and breathe in with a long hissing sound when the cool air and balm hits your wounds" I said softly, letting my fingertips rub along his untouched scalp to his temples, where I massaged lightly in any attempt to soothe him that I could come up with.

He turned tear stricken, muddy brown eyes to me, tracks marking their way down his cheeks as he cried involuntarily at the agony striking across his chest and shoulders, as the healer began to rub the balm into his angry flesh. "I never got to tell you about this one time, when I was in this tavern with my men...we got really drunk..." I began, wanting to take his mind off it.

I went on and on, elaborating wildly about the time we had had that night, and it seemed to work for at one point-when the healer was binding the worst of his wounds, that I even managed to wrench a wry chuckle out through the clenched teeth and half-hidden sobs. At last, when the healer had forced the last of Elrond's concoction (which by the way he was drooping, his eyes fluttering and his body relaxing was already starting to work) down his gullet, I finished my story and smiled gently.

"Thank you" he said, tiredly, a soft slur in his voice.

"Anything for you, my precious beauty" I murmured quietly.

I stroked my calloused fingers over his hair and down his face, over his neck as gently as possible, lulling him to sleep with fairy tale my Naneth used to tell me in my youth-it didn't take very long, but even after he had fallen asleep, I continued to sit there and tell the tale, until it was completely done. Feeling extremely ...contented with his presence here, and while I hated to think that he had to suffer like this...I was beyond overjoyed that he was real, and that I wouldn't have to suffer without my delicious Erestor anymore. The Balrog was dead. I had a lover. I had -this- lover. And I knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would spend the rest of my second life, defending, loving, cherishing, and being blessed with this creature...so very beyond a simple elf librarian.


	8. What he was meant for

**Hey everyone :) I'm back! :D Try and enjoy this chapter...I'm so sick so...I'm trying to rest but yeah...this feels like a fun thing to do :) :) ooh and Calandrion...totally made up :) Tolkien owns it, not me...ENJOY!**

I sat by his bedside for most of the night, and he seemed to be sleeping fairly well, in spite of the pain-and I knew that most of that was probably due to whatever concoction of Elrond's he had been given by the healer.

I wasted no time in getting out of the healer all the information I could about the librarian, and loved everything I heard, though I begged her not to say anything of my interest to anyone. She smiled prettily, as if she knew and understood, but promised she would say nothing and went along about her duties.

By the time the sun was ready to rise I felt an overwhelming stiffness and exhaustion of my own and climbed back into my own bed to sleep, I wanted to sleep with him but I knew that his wounds wouldn't allow it, I also knew...again that damned inner knowing that I knew without knowing, that Erestor wouldn't want me to reveal it all like that. So, I slept in my own bed. But as I fell asleep, I knew that I wanted to wake as healthy and awake as possible.

I woke up, and all I was aware of was the burning through my whole body, my skin hurt, my lungs hurt, my _hair_ hurt. I didn't know that it was possible for hair to hurt, but mine definitely did. My thoughts were slow to start, grainy and groggy but as I came to full awareness, fighting off whatever was in my system-I remembered, and narrowed my eyes to bring the picture fully into focus.

There he was. Laying opposite me, and I had to smile. His mouth was open, his eyes glazed over and far away, one arm was stretched out in my direction, the other held neatly to his side, as if to try and prevent some sort of pain. His breath was rasping lightly in and out in a soft snoring and his blonde hair was splayed, half tangled over the pillow.

I titled my head slightly and suddenly began to cough, it was less violent then it was the night before, I was sure of it, but that didn't make the pain any less. I used my good hand to wrap around the bed frame, desperate to hold my body still, but it didn't work and I whimpered in agony. The coughing subsided as I spat weakly into a bowl, and as I struggled for my breath, I felt a calloused hand on my back, rubbing gently. "Shh, get it all up beauty" he murmured and I arched into his hand with a soft groan-his hands were so cool as he rubbed up and down.

"It hurts less" I murmured, my voice raspy against my throat.

"I am very glad" he whispered and I turned ever so slightly looking up at him a smile breaking across my face.

"In so many ways" I continued and reached out brushing my good hand over his, he entwined his fingers with mine, and though his hands were bigger, stronger, wider, mine were longer, and thinner, so I could fold the tips of my dexterous fingers over the tops of his.

He laughed at this move and squeezed my fingers gently. I smiled softly and cleared my throat, settling into my pillows as he reached out with his other hand and offered me a cup of water, which I took gratefully. He pulled his hand gently away as a small procession of people came into the room, Lord Celeborn I recognized, as well as Counselor Silinde, but the others I didn't recognize on sight-only by their emblems and colours. "Lord Elrond" Glorfindel spoke, and bowed good naturedly.

"Glorfindel! You're up! And about!" the dark haired lord cried, excitedly.

"I am. I woke with a renewed spirit of vigour, who knows why?" he said with a warm laugh.

"I am so very glad, so happy...and your wounds?" the half elf peredhel said with friendly concern.

"Near fully healed my lord" The healer came in, bowing deeply before she bustled over to my side and smiled softly at me with compassion as I couldn't help but wince at the supplies she carried in her hands.

"Master Erestor. You as well, awake and aware" Lord Celeborn said, softly, by way of introduction.

"Yes. My Lord" I said, blushing in spite of my burns, I felt for the first time that there would be some sort of repercussion for my actions, after all, mine had not been the result of an attack of wild goblins or orcs or attercops...my injuries were the result of an insane notion and my own hand.

"I am very glad, your accident was caught well in time...those humans with their improperly packed wine, you really do take on too many duties at once Master Erestor, the servants could have disposed of that wine themselves easily enough, and spared us the accidental injury of one of our very finest scholars" he went on, and I looked at him, tears shining in my eyes. I knew that the many times he repeated variants of the word accident, and weaved a believable tale out of my intentions that made it into that very thing-an accident, I knew that he was making me well and fine and good in the eyes of the others in the room-that Lady Galadriel had told him about my dreams was probably not in doubt-but this meant the world to me..because suddenly I knew that I was forgiven and that everything was going to be alright.

"Your burns are mostly superficial Master Erestor, you will be pleased to know-mostly surface damage, and once you have finished removing the smoke and char from your lungs you will be alright" the dark haired Lord added on as he came forward himself to look at my wounds, I bowed my head and smiled softly "Thank you very much my lord" I said, softly, with reverence-my goodness why was he so attractive? Not as attractive as Glorfindel though, and I shifted my eyes over to take in the blonde with a mischievous glitter in my eyes as he looked over at me with narrowed eyes, and a teasing look on his face-he knew and I smiled softly.

He rolled his eyes behind the backs of the lords and I cleared my throat "how soon may I return to my library?" I asked, patiently.

Both lords laughed and Elrond shook his head "Not for a while at least" he began but Celeborn interrupted "or at all, if you will be agreeable"

I frowned and my heart thundered in my chest, terror flew through my whole body and ice replaced the blood in my veins-I had thought...I mean, Celeborn's words had been so sure, so calming, so confident...and now this. "I...will..."

He shook his head "I should explain, but I will do so when you are on slightly better ground" Celeborn began.

I shook my head frantically "No. Please. My Lord, I am afraid that you have sparked anxiety in me...please..tell me. What?" I asked, breaking off, and I saw the look in Glorfindel's eyes as he reached out to comfort me as best he could with his presence.

"Of course, I should have said nothing-but it is good news I promise. With much discussion and deliberation, I have proposed to Lord Elrond that...perhaps you would replace his counselor, who has voiced a desire to sail away..."

My mouth dropped open "Counselor Calandrion? _Chief_ Counselor Calandrion?" I demanded, shock in my voice.

"Yes." Celeborn answered me, plainly, restraining his own smilea s best he could.

"You would select...me?" I asked.

"I had come here hoping simply for counsel." Elrond began "But after spending so much time with you, in friendship, I have decided I would like to leave, with a counselor" he finished.

A soft cry broke my lips and I nodded excitedly, whimpering at the pain but too over-joyed to let it stop me "Yes yes yes yes yes!" I cried in delight. "I am very agreeable, thank you, thank you My Lords, thank you" I managed and nodded excitedly.

They both laughed and Elrond smiled "You are welcome, I have no doubts, no reservations, but for now, you must recover your strength first." He said and I all but flopped onto my bed, desperate to recover as fast as possible.

"This is your future, Erestor. I always knew you would amount to great things" Celeborn said to me quietly, as Elrond walked over to look over the herbs and things the healer was sorting through.

"Thank you so very much."I whispered and he smiled and soothed back my singed hair as he stood and left when Elrond indicated he was ready, and I just laid there, tears glittering in my eyes and trailing down my cheeks.

Long moments passed and finally I felt his calloused fingers brushing my tears away. "This is perfect" he whispered quietly.

"I can't believe it" I whispered back.

He smiled at me and winked on blue eye "I'll show you everything, I promise. Nothing in the valley will be unknown to you" he promised.

I Grinned, reached out with my good hand and brushed fingers over his cheek, he kissed my fingertips, I felt now that my real future, that everything I'd dreamed of-both literally and figuratively, were coming true.


End file.
